walking the walk


there are three reasons i’m eating this pinkberry while waiting for my lunch to arrive: a) trying to make myself feel better after finding out the cyst on my left ovary is twice as big as it was two months ago and might need to be surgically removed (like I really need one more thing to think about apart from all this cancer stuff); b) following my own advice about eating dessert first. life is uncertain, right?; and c) i LOVE pinkberry!


a “fortune”ate piece of advice


i’ve been a little disgruntled over the past few years as chinese takeout fortunes have morphed from silly-and-fun predictions like “you will enjoy 50 years’ good luck” to vague and confusing sayings like a recent one i got: “you will be in the best position.”  wtf does that even mean?

yesterday’s lunch yielded a good one though.  (see above.)  i think it’s actually more of a “fortune” than most other ones i’ve seen to date because, if i’m able follow its sage counsel, it could actually turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy!  the more myself i’ve allowed myself to be lately, the more wonderful i’ve felt.  now, all i need is a little more practice to drive the message home.

this fortune was also a good reminder that the right messages and reminders will cross your path if your eyes are open and you’re open to receiving them.  now, go forth, and be yourself!

radiant, even in darkness

this poem was sent to me by a dear friend and mentor who has been a guiding light and inspiration for me in recent weeks.  its evocative imagery and hopeful message touched me so deeply.

(by Christine Lore Webber)

Some of you I will hollow out.
I will make you a cave.
I will carve you so deep the stars will shine in your darkness.
You will be a bowl.
You will be the cup in the rock collecting rain.

I will hollow you with knives.
I will not do this to make you clean.
I will not do this to make you pure.
You are clean already.
You are pure already.

I will do this because the world needs the hollowness of you
I will do this for that space that you will be.
I wlll do this because you must be large.
A passage.
People will find their way through you.
A bowl.
People will eat from you
And their hunger will not weaken them unto death.
A cup to catch the sacred rain.

My daughter, do not cry.  Do not be afraid.
Nothing you need will be lost.
I am shaping you.
I am making you ready.

Light will blow in your hollowing.
You will be filled with light.
Your bones will shine.
The round, open center of you will be radiant.
I will call you Brilliant One.
I will call you Daughter Who is Wise.
I will call you Transformed.

my aspiration is to accept with grace the hollowing of myself that has been brought about by cancer.  and to have the strength and courage to allow myself to be filled back up in ways i didn’t even know were possible.  and to emerge transformed: a passage via which others can find a light in their darkness.

thank you to all those who have made me believe this is possible.  i owe you a debt of gratitude i can never repay.

the very picture of resilience

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress…It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop.
– American Pyschological Association

i mentioned resilience in a recent post.  i feel compelled to mention it again today, after witnessing, along with the rest of the world, the moving images of congresswoman gabby giffords as she returned to the floor of the house of representatives for the first time since she was shot in january.  gabby did not suffer a devastating brain injury because of a random act of violence.  she was specifically targeted by a gunman because of her political views.

Rep. Gabby Giffords, via Associated Press

to my mind, her courageous and symbolic decision to be present today for the historic budget vote sends several important messages:

    • to those who believe that violence is a legitimate and effective means to resolve differences of belief/opinion, you will not prevail, as long as there are people like gabby.
    • to those (politicians) who believe that engaging in brinksmanship with the world’s political and economic systems qualifies as leadership, you will look small and foolish, as long as there are people like gabby.
    • and, most importantly, to those who are seeking to engage in the process of resilience and to display courage in the face of adversity, you will have inspiration, as long as there are people like gabby.